Help Your Children Adjust to Being Gluten Free

Happy Gluten Free Thursday, Glingsters! As a special treat today, we all get to go back to the younger years and focus on the kiddies! I love kids. I really do believe that they are our hope and our future. As parents, we get the tough job of raising them to be strong, independent, healthy, happy, confident and caring adults (no pressure). This is quite a calling in itself. Now let’s add in the addition of keeping them gluten free... We all know this can be tough at times.

Today, though, the focus is not on us. Today we get to walk a mile (or a few hundred words) in their shoes. To do this, I need each of you to search your memories to find the depth of emotions and stress that only a child can feel. Go back to the school age years. Are you there?

I remember once in kindergarten, how much it hurt my feelings when two of my classmates announced that they didn’t like me because I was too tall. It gets worse, though, my maiden name is Roach (yes, like the bug). I don’t think I went a single day without hearing some clever tidbit about that.

I don’t bring this up to glean any sympathy, but to illustrate a point. Childhood is tough! I know, as adults we often remember childhood as the glory days before bills and jobs, but really remember...

Now that we are all in their little shoes, it’s time to introduce the gluten free diet. Now, at every birthday party, every school lunch, everywhere- there is one more thing to set them apart from the group. Some kids take to this with no problem. They seem to have a natural ability to deal with any challenge, they are the lucky ones.

The fact is, being gluten free is much harder on kids than it is on adults. There are fewer support groups and less logic in their world. So, it is up to us as parents (and other random adult influences) to help. How, you ask? Simply by being there. I mean REALLY being there, in their shoes.

Often it is easy for us to look at the playground through the wisdom of our years and pass off the hurts that our kids bring home as “kid stuff”. I have to fight this impulse constantly. Some days it takes a force of will to remember being on that playground myself. I am rewarded for doing it, though. Due to constant practice, I know all of the school gossip: who is crushing on who, who cheats on homework, and who says “eeewwww” when looking at my daughter’s gluten free lunch.

I treasure this knowledge. I realize that my daughter, at her age, is honoring me by being so open. So, the more she shares, the more I have learned to listen to the kids in my life. They possess a wisdom that we could all benefit from. Today, I share a bit with you so that you can help your children get through the gluten free blues.

I preface the following tips with the usual cautions. I have no way of knowing your child personally, and offer no guarantees. These are my personal observations and insights from the children in my life and should not be considered professional advice.

Kids like to be individuals, but not alone

Contradiction, maybe, but so true! I know a little girl with Celiac. She is the only one in her family of seven that is gluten free (they are very cautious). Something that is very important to her is that other people taste her food, and like it. Her mom is awesome about this. She always tries the new food she buys so that she can share the experience with her daughter.

Kids need to know that they’re OK

As adults, we underestimate the impact that our words and body language can have. Every time we recoil from something kids say, however subtly we do it, they notice. Sometimes this can work in our favor, making us allies, other times not so much.

Example #1: For her birthday, my daughter decided not to take cookies to school because a couple of the kids in her class had called her gluten free food “gross”. I had the natural mama bear reaction to the kids that were so insensitive, but turned it to the positive. I said, “Ouch, I bet that hurt.” She agreed to having some hurt feelings and we talked it through. Then, we decided that for her birthday it would be good to take Tootsie Pops for treats, keeping her cool factor intact. In this situation, my reaction was good. It let her know that her feelings were justified and bonded us.

Example #2: There are certain people that we know that view gluten free food as the enemy. They will turn down a gluten free snack even if they are starving. Due to these reactions, the gluten free children in my acquaintance feel less comfortable around these adults. They avoid spending quality time with them and are a bit ashamed when eating in front of them.

Kids like to be in charge- As long as they have backup

In order to give her a certain amount of independence, I made my daughter a gluten free book. (It was fun to make, but would take too much time to explain here.) This book went with her everywhere when we first went gluten free. Due to this, she knows the do’s and don’ts as well as I do. She loves to show her skills by marching up to any ingredients label and pronouncing it safe or not. Afterwards, without fail, she will whisper for me to double check and make sure she was right.

She is not alone in this. Every gluten free child I know plays this game. It is a pronouncement of independence that is common in childhood. The double check comes from fear.

Kids scare easy

Most kids will experience gluten fear at some point or another. It is the syndrome that develops after a couple bad reactions to being contaminated. (This isn’t just for kids, by the way, I have a healthy amount of fear myself.) I know a girl who went through a phase where she literally would start to panic every time she had to eat. Her reactions to gluten were so bad that she was afraid of getting contaminated. The correlation between fear and pain is completely understandable. No one wants to be in pain.

When dealing with fear of this type, it is easy for adults to be frustrated. Some feel as if the child doesn’t trust them. Others see it as a needless reaction, like the fear of monsters under the bed. What is important to keep in mind is that fear of any kind is very real to the person feeling it.

When faced with panic reactions, the best thing to do is confront the fear head-on. Try saying, “How can we get through this?” (Notice the use of “we”. See the section above.) Present yourself as an understanding ally, a comforter. Justify the fear with, “I understand why you’re scared, but you have to eat.”

Some kids find solace by reading labels themselves. Others like to help cook, and keep an eye on things. I’ve even seen a few who preferred not to eat anything unless it was naturally gluten free. Whatever solution is found, implement it as a team.

That’s all I have for today, you can put your own shoes back on now. I wish you and your little darlings the best of luck on this gluten free journey. As for me, school just got out, so I have to go find out if students A and B still hate each other :)